Punxsutawney Sean uses his six senses to declare global warming is a hoax

This is now the 17th year in a row that the Fox “news” weather specialist Punxsutawney Sean has made his declaration that global warming is a hoax. The human weather rodent uses his six senses by sticking his head out of his window at the News Corp building in New York.

 “The massive Nor’easter that is currently putting eastern states into a freeze is proof that there is no Global Warming”, says Punxsutawney Sean.

Punxsutawney Sean is a very special Fox “news” weather rodent; he has fine-tuned his sixth senses, while the average human only has five.

While atop of the News Corp building with his head firmly stuck out the window, the Fox “news” rodent used his senses to ascertain the following:

• Sense of Touch: felt the cold snow
• Sense of Smell: nose froze
• Sense of Hearing: heard wind howling
• Sense of Taste: snowflakes landed in mouth
• Sense of Sight: saw the snow

And Punxsutawney Sean’s sixth sense is his ability to speak to large audiences with the abnormal growth in his larynx that mimics a 50,000 watt radio broadcast system.

After announcing his findings, Punxsutawney Sean was quick to point out that Global Warming is a “hoax” created by “liberals” who are lead by their “Messiah, Barack Obama”. The rodent was also quick to point out that the main stream media no longer use the words "Global Warming" and now refer to it as "Global Climate Change".

All Fox “news” shows then repeat Punxsutawney Sean’s findings over and over and over again, through the man-made broadcast systems in the News Corp building.

Punxsutawney Phil to retire

You probably didn't hear about this, but, Fox News bought the naming rights to "Punxsutawney Phil". They (Fox) said. " its upsetting to everyone in America when Punxsutawney Phil makes a prediction on how long winter will last based on his shadow, while Sean does nearly the same thing each year.

They (Fox) made note that every winter Sean "Punxsutawney Phil" Hannity sticks his head out a window then tells his audience that he just saw his shadow and that the snow is proof that there is NO such thing as global warming (Global Climate Change).

Fox management said "The world is not big enough for two Ground Hogs, Punxsutawney Phil and Sean Hannity, so they are ending the career of America's most famous Ground Hog, and no I don't mean Rush Limbaugh when I say Ground Hog.

They did say that the original Punxsutawney Phil will be set free in the wilds of Alaska at the request of their part time celebrity pundit Sarah Palin.

An Alaskan Wildlife and Game Management spokeswoman from Wasilla, AK said, that this coming spring a contest will start and the first person to kill the retired Punxsutawney Phil will win a *dinner for him or her, plus a guest with former half term Governor Sarah Palin. The main course will be ground hog braised with yellow snow.

The contest will start June 1st, Ground Hog hunting tags will cost $50000.00 each, only one entry per hunter. Members of the Palin family, and Alaska State government employees are excluded from participating. Proceeds will be split between two organizations, PETA (People for the Eating of Animals) and a new charity started by the former half term Governor called MYBANK (Making Young Babies into Athletes, Not Killers). *Dinner with Sarah Palin will be based upon the availability of Sarah Palin, winner may have to travel to meet her, all travel expenses such as airfare and hotel costs are the responsibility of the winner.

For more information and to download an entry form log onto

www.whatdoyoucallagroundhogwithlipstick.ak.us